5 Star Review
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Editorial Book Review:
By Martha Dick
Delicia Niami's book Not My Circus is an honest look at the worst parts of her life. She comes out on the other side with a message of hope, healing, and strength. This memoir is more than just a list of terrible things that happened; it's a powerful story about reclaiming one's life and identity after unimaginable difficulties.
As Niami grows up, she has to deal with drug abuse, sexual violence, and family secrets. This all takes place in West Hollywood at the height of the AIDS epidemic, which is both exciting and risky. The colorful details in her writing pull readers into the chaos of a world that is both dangerous and interesting, and where someone's life is not guaranteed. Niami goes through awful things, like being raped and being beaten, but her strength shines through, and this book shows how strong the human spirit is.
The most interesting thing about Not My Circus is not only how brutally honest Niami is about her past, but also how brave she is as she works to heal. In this story about finding out more about yourself, the author bravely looks at her pain and turns it into something that makes her stronger. There is a lot of hard-won knowledge in Niami's story that reminds readers that no matter how bad life problems are, they can always be overcome.
One of the most important lessons in the book is that real strength doesn't come from not having to go through pain, but from being willing to keep going even when life tries to knock you down. When Niami gets her sense of self back and builds a life on self-love and pride, she shows people that even when things look bad, they can heal and change.
Not My Circus is an intense and deeply moving book that will connect with anyone who has been through hard times or tried to get past the bad things that happened in their past. This is an amazing story of strength that is shared with honesty and heart. Niami's autobiography is a must-read for anyone who wants to see the power of human persistence and the success of the spirit.
About the Author
Delicia Niami
Several of her early readers wondered why she chose to tell her story in snapshots rather than in a linear fashion. The simple answer is because this is how she remembers it. But life is never so simple. This is especially true when speaking about trauma.
Throughout her life, many people were astonished by her journey, often encouraging her to write her story. It took forty-eight years for her to be ready.
Once she felt ready, she pondered how she would fit all her memories and events of childhood into some sort of comprehensible order since memories do not come to her linearly but rather in bits and pieces that fit together like a jigsaw puzzle.
Suddenly, it occurred to her. The best way to compartmentalize her childhood was to write in snapshots. She envisioned writing chapters as nouns: important people, places, and things in her life.
It wasn’t until she finished writing this book that she realized memories of trauma work differently.
There have been numerous books written about trauma, recall, and the fragmentation process. Intense traumatic memories can create mental fragments (or flashbulb memories) due to hormone overload in the hippocampus of your brain when serious or life-threatening trauma arises.
This is why so many people that have intense trauma can only remember snippets of what happened. During the writing process, she recalled memories that had been completely blocked out—until she began to write. A television in the background of a dark room flashed in her mind as she wrote. Then a large shadowy figure sitting in a chair. The flashes kept coming. Slowly, pieces started converging little by little.
Due to the nature of how her brain processes trauma, each chapter is a short story unto itself. This compilation of stories melds together to create the beginning of her journey to who she has become today.
It is important to note that this memoir is a "snapshot of life" and since her traumas and triumphs have spanned over many years she wanted to give her readers the full picture and in order to do that she had to write her story in three parts: Kissing Asphalt is the first. Followed by Not My Circus, which continues from the end of Kissing Asphalt through about age thirty-two where her world was changed and turned upside down due to another and the biggest trauma of her life. Not My Circus will be followed by The Queen of Silver Linings which will take you through her healing journey including more ups and downs but thixs will conclude with her triumph, victory, filled with self-love and respect. Like a phoenix, she rose through the ashes!
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